


I Hurt You

by CloudCover



Category: The Two Princes (Podcast)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Recovery, M/M, Season 2 spoilers, Tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-16
Updated: 2019-12-16
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:28:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21823672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudCover/pseuds/CloudCover
Summary: Immediately following the resolution of their little mishap with Malkia, Rupert collapses and they realize that he and Amir need some time to touch base and figure out where they stand in their relationship.
Relationships: Prince Amir/Prince Rupert (Two Princes Podcast)
Comments: 26
Kudos: 344





	I Hurt You

“Hey, Amir?” Rupert says interrupting his fiancé's rambling, reaching up to thread his hands behind his neck.

“Yes Rupert?” Amir responds, wrapping his arms around Rupert’s back and pulling him close, his eyes crinkling into a smile when he thinks he knows what’s about to happen.

“Shut up and kiss me.”

“I thought you’d never ask.” Amir chuckles, gladly pressing his lips to Rupert’s.

Rupert kisses back, relief flooding through his body. His nightmare is over. Their kingdom is safe. Amir is back. They can just forget all the craziness of the last month and move on with their lives. Everything is going to be fine. Everything is going to be great.

Suddenly Rupert feels like the room is spinning. His ears are ringing, his skin is clammy. His eyes fly open only to find that everything is going white.

“Rupert? Rupert!”

Amir catches him before he slips out of his arms and collapses onto the floor. Amir calls for help. There’s no one else left in the throne room except the two of them.

Rupert is vaguely aware of being picked up and carried… by Amir, oh that’s nice. No wait, Amir is gone. It’s Chad! He’s taking him to Malkia! He can’t get away! No no!

Amir falls to his knees as Rupert thrashes wildly. He’s unable to hold him. Luckily Joan heard Amir’s cries and has rushed back into the throne room to help.

As Joan approaches, Rupert sees her and lunges out of Amir’s grasp, clinging to the knight's legs like a frightened child. Amir tries to reach out for him, to touch him, to calm him, but Rupert screams and shies away.

The sadness in Amir’s eyes is enough to break anyone’s heart, but all Rupert can see is Chad trying to trick him. Trying to hurt him.

With a devastated nod from Amir, Joan picks up Rupert and starts carrying him to their room as Amir follows alongside.

“Rupert! My love! Rupert! You’re going to be okay. The doctor is on her way. You’re going to be okay!” Amir doesn’t know if Rupert can even hear him as they rush through the empty corridors.

Rupert is babbling incoherently. They only catch pieces of what he’s saying: “Malkia… going to kill everyone… Amir’s gone… he’s gone… he betrayed us… run! Not safe!”

Joan pats his back “It’s okay Rupert. It’s over. You’re safe, your people are safe, Porridge, Cecily, Ami… everyone you love is safe.” Joan isn’t sure if hearing Amir’s name will trigger another outburst like the one he had in the throne room.

Luckily Joan’s reassurances seem to have done some good. Rupert relaxes into her, tears silently falling down his ashen face as they draw nearer to their bedchamber.

Joan looks down mournfully at Rupert’s limp body, not wanting to meet Amir’s questioning gaze “He’s, uh, really been through a lot these last few weeks.”

“I know.” Amir responds sadly, looking down at the ground in front of him “I remember. I remember all of it.”

Joan looks at him out of the corner of her eye but doesn’t say anything else as they finally open the doors of their rooms.

Joan lays Rupert down on one side of their large bed and stands up to make room for Amir, but Rupert immediately reaches out to grab her arm. He doesn’t want her to leave his side. Amir tries to kneel next to him and take his hand but Rupert blearily pushes him away muttering something about “five foot distance”.

Luckily, the doctor is already rushing in. Joan and Amir step out of the way as she feels Rupert’s burning forehead, checks his pulse and opens his eyelids to look at his bloodshot eyes. All the while Rupert is still muttering incomprehensibly and weakly thrashing about.

The doctor finally turns to address Amir “He’s suffering from shock. It can happen when the body has been running on adrenaline for an extended period of time and then the adrenaline suddenly stops. He needs rest. Keep his feet elevated, keep him warm. I’ll give him something to help him sleep.”

Joan helps the doctor hold Rupert still, murmuring something into his ear that has the effect of making him relax enough to let the doctor tip the contents of a small vial into his mouth. Amir turns away, blinking tears out of his eyes. He busies himself by lighting a fire in the hearth and going about collecting extra blankets and pillows.

The last thing Rupert is aware of before he drifts off to sleep is Amir pulling a chair up next to the bed, telling Joan to go. “I need you out there helping everyone else right now, Joan. I should be the one here with him. He’s my partner. This is my fault. I’m going to take care of him.”

Rupert wants to call out to Joan to beg her to stay, but he’s already asleep.

. . .

Rupert’s dreams are scattered and confusing. One moment he and Amir are holding each other in a crowded courtyard, Amir’s giggling as he tells Rupert how much he adores him. The next moment Amir, no Chad, is telling him that the siren is the most beautiful person he’s ever seen. One second Amir is beckoning him closer in a lake, the next Chad is pushing him away in a cave. Amir is pulling him out of quicksand and begging him not to die. Chad is sacrificing Rupert to a hydra in exchange for his own escape. Amir is kissing him in the hollow. Chad is betraying him in the Heartland.

. . .

Rupert is awake but he can’t see. It takes him a moment to figure out that it’s because his eyes are still closed. He doesn’t think he has the energy or the desire to open them. He feels a cool damp cloth running slowly over his forehead, his jaw, his neck. It feels nice. He can sense that there are two people sitting next to the bed but he can’t tell who they are until they start talking in hushed voices. He’s barely holding onto consciousness as he listens to their conversation.

“I can do that, Amir. You should get some rest too. Rupert isn’t the only one who went through a harrowing ordeal.”

“Thanks Lavinia, but I’ve got it.” Hearing Amir’s voice and knowing that it’s he who’s touching him right now doesn’t have the same startling effect on Rupert as it did before. In fact he feels exactly nothing. He listens without giving up the fact that he’s awake as Amir continues “You know it really pains me to admit this, but over these last few weeks I hardly did a thing aside from following Rupert around and messing up.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, dear. Your memories were gone. You didn’t know. You did the best you could and in the end you came through to save the day.”

“But I didn’t. I didn’t do the best I could. I dragged my feet and complained and made Rupert take care of me. And I mean sure I was able to save Rupert in the end, on the last day, but every other day in between he saved me.”

Rupert can hear Amir’s voice break on the last word and can tell that he’s taking a moment to regain his composure before he starts crying in front of his future mother in law. Rupert can’t tell what his mother’s reaction to Amir’s admission is, but they sit quietly for a little while. Rupert feels the cloth continue to caress his face and neck, to clean the sweat away and cool his burning skin. Finally Amir breaks the silence.

“You know every night that we were out there on the road, Rupert set up camp for us?”

“Rupert?”

“He gathered firewood and built our fire, he looked for plants and berries we could eat, and when he had to he caught fish or small animals to cook over the fire.”

“You’re talking about Rupert. Our Rupert?”

“You sound surprised.”

“I guess I am! I didn’t know he even knew how to do any of that.”

“I don’t think he did at first, but he figured it out and got better and better. While I sat there and complained that I was cold and hungry and didn’t lift a finger to help him.”

“Amir -”

Rupert feels the hand holding the cloth to his face start to shake before it’s pulled away.

“You know that he cried every time he had to kill and animal to keep us fed? He tried to hide it from me but I saw. I saw him thank the animals as tears ran down his face. And… and as Chad I saw it as another sign of weakness – that this beautiful man wasn’t worthy of my love.”

Amir is crying now, but he presses on.

“But at the same time part of me saw it for what it was – an act of love and respect. In some small confused part of my heart it made me feel like I wanted to be worthy of receiving his love and respect too. But I couldn’t. Every time I opened my mouth I saw the look on his face and knew I was failing again somehow. So I gave up. I ran away. I was so confused. I’m so sorry.”

“Amir listen. I’m the last person in the world who you need to apologize to. It may be hard to see the good right now, but you gave Rupert something over these last weeks that I nor anyone else I think has ever given him – you gave him your trust. I know how hard it is to feel so vulnerable, especially when you’re used to being the one taking care of everyone. But when Rupert is well, when you guys have had a chance to talk, I know you’ll come out of this even stronger than before. And it’s because of that trust. I’m probably the last person on earth who should be offering relationship insights, but now both of you know without a shadow of a doubt that you can depend on one another. Through thick and through thin. In sickness and in health. You just need some time to process what you just went through. When he wakes up, talk to him, and I promise it will be alright.”

. . .

Rupert is dreaming again. Chad is playing with a pack of wolves, his face is carefree and aglow with happiness – why does Rupert feel so sad? Chad is sliding on his knees pumping his fists in the air, he is beyond proud of himself for helping Rupert get the unicorn head – why does Rupert feel so disappointed? Chad’s excited determination flips instantly to fear and dread as they enter a cave full of snakes – why does Rupert feel so indifferent? Chad is standing on a table singing beautifully with all his heart – why does Rupert feel so angry?

. . .

This time when Rupert wakes up he can tell he’s feeling better. His head feels clear, his body doesn’t ache and he’s able to open his eyes. He looks out the window and sees the sun beaming over the beautiful meadows and woods of the Heartland. His kingdom. Their kingdom.

He looks over to see Amir, asleep, half of his body is in the chair next to Rupert, half of it is slouched over with his head resting on his arms on the edge of the bed.

Rupert hesitates, then runs his hand through Amir’s messy hair. He luxuriates in the feel of his soft wiry curls, one part of his mind trying to remind the other that it’s okay to touch him like this.

After a moment Amir raises his head to look at Rupert. His eyes are red, his face is gaunt, but when he sees Rupert awake and coherent he breaks out into a relieved smile. Amir has to stop himself before he scoops Rupert up into his arms.

“Hi” Amir says a bit sheepishly.

“Hi” They can’t meet each other’s gaze.

Rupert’s voice is dry and hoarse from disuse. Amir timidly helps him sit up and sip some water, all the time checking Rupert’s face to make sure he’s okay with him touching him. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to forget Rupert’s look of terror as he clung feverishly to Joan in the throne room.

“So, uh… How long have I been asleep?” Rupert’s not really quite sure how to talk to Amir right now, he knows they have a lot to discuss, but he can’t help but feel a bit tongue tied.

“Three days”

Rupert’s shocked. He takes a closer look at Amir’s appearance and now that he does he can see that it’s been a while since the other prince has shaved, his clothes are deeply wrinkled, and he just seems to be a general mess.

“Amir, please tell me you haven’t been sitting in that chair the whole time. You could have at least…” Rupert gulps and continues more quietly “You do know this is your bed too.”

“I didn’t want to make you feel… uncomfortable.”

Rupert thinks about his reaction to Amir holding him after he collapsed in the throne room.

“Amir I-“

“Hush. We can talk about it later. We can talk about everything. But first let’s get you something to eat.”

Amir seems to brighten as he’s finally has an actionable item to focus on. He stands up to tidy the bedside table and order up some food to be brought to their room. Rupert feels his heart swell with love watching him, but the feeling quickly turns to an unpleasant ache. What is wrong with him? This is Amir. He’s back. Everything is as it should be. Why does it still hurt so badly?

Soup arrives from the kitchens and Amir makes sure Rupert is well situated to eat it sitting up in bed. Rupert tries a few times to bring the spoon to his mouth without spilling, but his hands are shaking too badly.

“Here, let me help you.”

As Amir spoons soup into Rupert’s mouth Rupert can’t help but feel awkward and embarrassed. He looks everywhere except at Amir and thanks him ashamedly after every bite.

“You don’t have to thank me” Amir finally says “We’re going to be husbands. We’re here to take care of each other.”

There’s a silence while Rupert looks down at his hands. Finally they both speak at the same time.

“Rupert I-”

“Listen, Amir-”

“No let me go first.”

“Please, I just wanted to tell you-”

They pause, looking at each other a little bit frustrated. Until they both break into shy grins. Amir reaches out to touch Ruperts face, but without thinking Rupert winces like he’s about to be slapped. Amir draws back.

“Amir, please?” Rupert asks quietly, eyes still closed.

“Okay Rupert, go ahead. I love you.”

“Amir, look... I just wanted to say that...” he takes a deep breath and opens his eyes “I’m sorry.”

“What? YOU want to apologize to ME?”

“Yes, please. Just listen. The way I treated you these past few weeks...”

Amir is shaking his head.

“Let’s just say I could have done better. I could have done a lot better. Your memories were gone, you were confused and scared and I failed to see that. I failed to give you the space you needed to work your feelings out on your own. I just kept expecting you to all of a sudden remember who you were and every time you didn’t meet my expectations I made you feel horrible about yourself. It’s no wonder you ran away. I should have found a way to see Chad for who he was. Found a way to love him, even if he didn’t love me. Because I know that like it or not, Chad is a part of you. And if I can’t accept that, if I can’t accept him, then I don’t deserve to love Amir either.”

Rupert is surprised to feel tears spilling down his cheeks but even more surprised to look up and see Amir crying too.

“Rupert, can I please... can I please touch you? Hold your hand?”

With tears still streaming down his face Rupert immediately reaches out and clasps Amir’s hand.

“Rupert, when I lost my memory, when I was Chad... I hurt you. I hurt you so badly, and I can never forgive myself.”

“Amir, no. You didn’t know...”

“No, I didn’t remember you, I didn’t remember our history. But I could see the way you looked at me when we had a quiet moment together. Heck, you flat out told me that we were in love! And yet what do I do? I blow you off. I was arrogant and conceded and I... and I...” He turns red and he hides his face in his other hand “I blatantly FLIRTED with that SIREN right in front of you! I am so ashamed to admit that I knew exactly what I was doing to you – I knew exactly what you must have been feeling but I didn’t stop! I didn’t care! And it’s no wonder that you were able to so readily believe that I had betrayed you after what I did with the hydra. Rupert, I shutter to think what might have happened if Joan and Porridge hadn’t rushed in and saved the day!” At this Amir pauses before continuing on more quietly “And the way I talked to you in the tavern... I was dismissive and cold when you had just come to tell me that you wanted me to be happy. To let me go.”

Amir sobs. Rupert reaches out to pull Amir’s other hand to him. Their eyes finally meet for the first time since Rupert woke up and it’s like they’re looking at each other for the first time.

“You know,” Amir goes on, not daring to break eye contact with Rupert “there were a lot of things that confused me as Chad. So many things that I felt I should know but didn’t. But you know the thing that confused me the most? My feelings for you. Every time I looked at you my heart would start to beat faster, I would get this feeling in the pit of my stomach like... like... acid, or... or sugar, or... or... BUTTERFLIES... do you know what I’m saying? But I didn’t know what to do with these feelings. These feelings that I liked you, and wanted to be closer to you, wanted to let you love me. So I did the easy thing: I pushed you away. But I’m here now. I’m back. And I know exactly what to do with these feelings, and that’s love you. Love you like there’s no tomorrow. Love you like the beautiful creature you are. Love you for being the bravest, most selfless, most heroic prince I know. Love you like the sun won’t rise unless you’re happy, because for me it won’t.”

The tears are still silently pouring down their faces as they look at each other. Rupert feels love and warmth spreading from his chest into the tips of his fingers and toes.

“Oh Amir!” Rupert sobs “I love you too!”

It’s been so long since Amir has heard it. He can’t stop himself, the almost empty soup bowl clatters to the ground as Amir climbs onto the bed and scoops Rupert into his arms and onto his lap and just holds him.

They cling to each other. Whispering to each other between sobs.

“I love you”

“I adore you”

“I missed you”

“I’m so sorry”

“No I’m sorry!”

“I forgive you”

“I forgive you too”

“It’s going to be alright”

“We’re going to be alright”

“I love you so much”

“I love you too! So so much”

Rupert feels the stress and tension melt from his body as he feels Amir’s strong arms around him, as he listens to his heart beat and breathes in his smell. After a time they realize that they’ve stopped crying. They’re just holding each other, clinging together like they might drift away if they’re separated. Finally Rupert pulls back to look at Amir. They both laugh when they see each other’s snotty and tear streaked faces. They take turns wiping each other’s tears with their sleeves.

Finally Rupert grins. Amir’s heart feels like like it’s on fire seeing him smile.

“Hey Chad?”

“Haha. Yes Rupert?”

“You know, when you’re my husband you seriously gotta check with me before you make any arrangements with strange sorceresses.”

“Deal. Hey Rupert?”

“Yes Amir?”

“When you’re my husband you’re seriously going to have to come out drinking and singing with me and my friends sometime.”

“Deal.”

They look at each other and laugh until it hurts. Then neither of them has to say it - they both shut up and kiss each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! This last season of The Two Princes gave me so many intense emotions! I really hope there’s going to be a season 3!


End file.
